In separation or divorce cases, children and adolescents need more attention. Several suggestions to help a parent deal with this delicate moment are listed down below.

  • Mind children’s well-being first. In conflictual relationships cases, avoid using your children as a “weapon” against your wife/husband. It is better for your children not to witness your discussions and arguments and do not use them as “mediator” if this happens.
  • It is important to be honest with your children: although you might want to hide the truth from them in order to protect them, it is essential to explain the situation to them in a clear and simple way.
  • It is therefore crucial to explain to your child that while you and your partner may not wish  to live together anymore, they (your child) has nothing to do with this decision and that it is not her/his fault.
  • Listen to their questions and accept their fears and worries are real for them; creating an opportunity for your child to have a discussion with you at a time when they would wish it can help with their emotions. – Similarly, try to maintain family and friends’ relationships and the network that have been surrounding and supporting your child until the separation moment.
  • Children are often afraid of losing one of their parents; it is thus important to reassure them by allowing them to talk to both of you whenever they wish. Having clear plans about when a parent not living with their child will see them will be helpful.Although separation between you and your partner is stressful for both of you and you have much to consider, pay attention to  any small changes in your child’s behaviour and be read to offer support to them as and when necessary.

Do not turn children into “little adults”: Children are children they can’t be expected to understand some of the issues that you as adults are facing, so avoid putting too much expectations on your children.

While you may be considering what professional support, you can get for your children remember you will need support too. It is important that you and your partner also think seriously about seeking professional help to manage your relationship. Improving how you manage your separation will help your child both now and in the future.

Contact Telefono Azzurro: we have professionals that understand what you are going through and are there to  listen to you and help you. For parents in need, Telefono Azzurro provides a listening space where you can receive advice or guidance to help you manage any distress that your child may have or just provide helpful advice on how to speak to your child.

For advice and support contact us 24/7 at the 1.96.96, all calls are free.

21 November 2019

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